Stop Lying to Women

Author: John Stonestreet

According to ShoutYourAbortion.com (yes, that is a real website), women who want children are the abnormal ones. For example, Syd, who identified herself as a convert to Catholicism, wrote, “Thanks to my abortion, I will have a future.” Another wrote, “Abortion gave me a chance to focus on my own life.” An anonymous college student stated, “My future was worth it, and I am more than just a vessel to produce new life.” She then compared her baby to a tumor standing between her and her career.  

This website is among the legacies of a society now well into its fourth wave of feminism. Women see the procreative design of their bodies as a problem to be avoided or solved, not a gift of God. Between that consistent drumbeat and the celebrity voices equating abortion with “mercy” and insisting life without marriage and children is better (despite overwhelming research that suggests otherwise), it is no wonder that over one million women chose to end the life of their baby last year, 40% of young women think they should hold off having a baby until their career is established, and one-fifth of women say they would forego kids altogether for a career.  

Many young women believe they will be happier if they remain single and without kids. Yet studies continue to show that the happiest people on average are women who are married with kids. In other words, there is an incredible gap between perception and reality. God designed humans for relationships. For most, that means marriage. He made women to be child bearers and mothers, uniquely equipping their bodies, hearts, and minds to be life-givers in this way. Scripture says that there is joy in following the precepts of the Lord, which align with God’s works in creation. If true, we ought to expect that living out God’s design will bring happiness. God’s burden is light, after all. 

The fundamental ideas of the feminist movement, at least in its current form, is in direct contrast. Its adherents even find it necessary to re-write the lives of historical figures to align with their views. Thus, the new and improved Lady Jane Grey was a power-driven vixen who did not need a man, and Jane Austen even envisioned a nonbinary society. For historical figures to be considered great, they must have rejected repressive narratives of womanhood that value faith, family, or men. 

This kind of feminism betrays women and is especially dismissive of the many who face infertility or who desire marriage and family in this culture that no longer values either. God made humans in his image, male and female. Though a woman’s value is not determined by marital or maternal status, who God designed woman to be can neither be erased nor can it be replaced by some progressive vision of “freedom,” careerism, or sexual autonomy.  

The truth about women is, in reality, far more radical than the ideas so dominant in this cultural moment. Women are uniquely and wonderfully different from men. It should not be thought weird for women to desire to give life and then nurture and care for life. Women did this for Jesus throughout His life and at His death. The Bible portrays women as prophets, judges, and businesswomen, but also, in nearly every book of Scripture, as mothers and wives.  

It is often said that being a wife and mother are the highest calling for women. It is not. Glorifying God, in whatever role or stage of life, is the highest calling of all image bearers. We are to do that in whatever station we find ourselves, as male or female, because that’s how God made us to live. Too many women have been told to fear the design that God blessed them with, or to fight it in the name of “freedom.” In this cultural moment, that fear has undermined the sacred roles granted to women within families. That’s a tragedy because God’s design of His image bearers, male and female, is, as Scripture has said, very good.